home again

Memories of Felix come to me at the most random times. I keep thinking someone will let me know that this didn't happen. That it was a dream, it's not real. He's ok and everything is ok. This isn't fair. This shouldn't have happened. I seen his body, I touched the casket, I saw it all. I don't feel closure. I keep telling myself that it's real, it's over, he's gone, but I can't except it. I can't except it. You never really know how you handle death until it happens to you. You'll never really understand it. I thought I knew.